See You Soon, Dr. Willard

A long time ago, a friend told me that by reading the Gospels, she had fallen in love with Jesus once again. That sounded good to me - I mean, loving Jesus was a big part of being a Christian, and I wanted to fall in love with him, just like that old Jars of Clay song. So, I set out and read each of the Gospels. I did this dutifully, from Matthew to John, but I was a teenager and lacked the self-awareness to admit that it didn't have the same effect. The Gospels, the Synoptic Gospels especially, were a sort of mysterious, holy terrain, full of riddles and sort-of-familiar stories that I only assumed had a direct application on my life because I knew they were supposed to. I was down with David and Paul, but I felt like I was missing the main point.

This all changed when I read The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. I may never have learned about the book had it not been assigned reading for my first stint as a campus ministry intern in Freiburg, Germany. It was heady reading for us, and not everyone on my team liked it - I remember one of my colleagues called it "The Divine Confusion" - but for me, it was magic.

The Divine Conspiracy was the first book (or sermon) that took seriously the Kingdom of Heaven. The Synoptic Gospels are full references to it, but it was a phrase I really didn't know how to handle. The Kingdom of Heaven seemed something very different, very separate from the here and now. Of course, as Dr. Willard points out, this isn't the case. Jesus' first message was that the Kingdom of Heaven was something very close. Because of Jesus, God and his own Kingdom, where his will is done, where Love is the law, is something near, if only we repent and belief this Good News.

This is how Dallas Willard explained it, or at least how I understood it. Almost every pastor I've encountered since has stressed that the Kingdom of Heaven is both "now and not yet," meaning that someday Jesus will return and establish the fullness of his Kingdom, but now we get to feel its presence and participate with us, even as we live among a world very much fallen. In The Divine Conspiracy, Willard stresses the "now" part (though the closing chapter is a wondrous reflection of what's to come).  And in his text, following Jesus became an endeavor of delight and urgency. Think of the last project you worked on, be it for work or for school or for whatever, that really felt like it was worth it, like your gifts were being used to create something that, regardless of whatever else was happening, was in and of itself good. That's how Dallas Willard presented the Kingdom of God, and that's how Dallas Willard presented our Lord's opus, the Sermon on the Mount.

The Sermon on the Mount was a particularly hard nut among the Synoptic Gospel mysteries. The understandable critique, a critique that anyone who takes the Sermon seriously has to make, at least once, means: are these even possible? It's beautiful, sure. But it the real world, to rid our lives of anger, contempt, lust, and revenge, not to mention going the extra mile with someone, and all of this without being allowed to show off or worry... well...  It's silly, the way I'm describing it, but it's also honest. It seems a sermon of either ideals or intimidation, rocks that shatter good intentions.

But in a strange way, after reading The Divine Conspiracy, it isn't. To read Dallas Willard means that to follow Jesus in the manner described by his famous sermon is costly, yes, but it's also something rich and rewarding, full of energy without being tiresome. We really can go on the journey rid our lives of these things that suffocate our relationships to our fellow humans - bitter contempt, sexual objectification and revenge fantasies - to live a life where we really love God with all we got and love our neighbors as ourselves. The duty of discipleship became an adventure, a costliness that is worth every ounce of energy expended, for we know that ultimately, it's Christ, his death and Resurrection, that makes the journey possible.

The Kingdom of Heaven is still something mysterious to me, and maybe it's supposed to be. It seems like every pastor or theologian I encounter says something different on the subject, and maybe all of their thoughts fall within a spectrum of truth. But thanks to Dr. Willard, the concept, along with the Synoptic Gospels and the Sermon on the Mount, became something beautiful to me, something that I wanted to enter with all my heart. And with that, Jesus himself, his law, his teaching, his sacrifice and his presence through the Holy Spirit, became more beautiful.

I write this in appreciate and affection for Dr. Willard, who died on May 8th. I am indebted to his life and his teaching, and my highlight-stained copy of The Divine Conspiracy still sits in an open place on my shelf, available for reference.