Glogg and Want

For Christmas Eve, I made Swedish glogg. My parents' Swedish neighbor used to make Swedish glogg, being that she is Swedish and everything, and she brought it over to their house the past couple of Christmases. But this Christmas, she was in Sweden, where I imagine she's wore an immense wool sweater and a viking helmet and while serving glogg in jeweled goblets around a 30-log fire in her father's dining hall, so I decided to step in. For those of you who don't know, Swedish glogg is basically mulled wine, except when you live in a place as cold and dark as Sweden, mulled wine isn't enough. You need to add something stronger to help it go down. The recipes vary, but I used port, rum, and vodka. (my recipe said to use brandy instead of the vodka, but a true chef knows how to improvise, especially when there's no brandy in the cupboard) It's a a witches brew, Nordic style, wine, port, spice and liquor, threatening a nasty hangover to the less responsible, but it's delicious. And mine was too.

So, after the Christmas Eve lessons and carols, we feasted. Not just glogg (just glogg, and you won't be able to find the front door, believe me!), but Russian meat pies (my parents' Russian neighbor was still in Florida), my mom's ham biscuits, my wife's salad: I feasted and I was full. Too full, perhaps, but it was hard not to be.

I wanted it. I wanted all the food. I wanted to brew a successful pot of glogg, and I wanted the rave reviews that I received. I wanted to sit with my family, and open presents with them in the morning. I wanted to see every muscle on my daughter's face expand into delight when I told her that she would get presents tomorrow. I wanted to watch her open her gifts, read through her new books, and line up her new princess figurines in a perfect row on her grandmother's shelf. I wanted Florida sunshine on the darkest night of the year, original Toll House chocolate chip cookies, and my wife's kiss.

I got all these things and more, but part of adulthood has been knowing that want is never complete. You get exactly what you want for Christmas, you're thankful, you revel, you play, and then you realize life's still the same, the same tensions and humor and angst are still there, unresolved. So I temper my wants, allow fantasy to dance in front of me without taking any of it seriously, and learn to work and create and enjoy the moment when the steam circles my nose, wine, liquor, sugar, spice pour over my tongue like an escaped drop of heaven.

It lingers, and now my glogg is a memory that I can't completely place, and I'll go about with my family and friends making more memories, hoping that I'll still carry the best ones for a long time. Happy melancholy, I guess, but it's also I reminder of where so much of our want points to in the first place, how the Author who first turned water to wine uses these desires to point back to him, to remind us that all we want for Christmas was given at the first one.

Nothing New Under the Sun

Oh look, my blog! I found it between the couch cushions, next to a bottle cap and a couple of pennies. I had to dust off the cookie crumbs, not to mention two, no, three impermeable gummy bears, plus hair that could be human or teddy bear. I tell you, one day, you put it down, and the next day it falls through the cracks and coats itself sticky with sugar. Well, I rinsed it off in the kitchen sink, because I found something familiar and needed to write about it. This is from Marilynne Robinson's Gilead. It describes the protagonist's mother, mothering in the late 1800s but still familiar today: 

"In many ways, she was a remarkably careful mother, poor woman. I was in a sense her only child. Before I was born she had brought herself a new home health care book. It was large and expensive, and it was a good deal more particular than Leviticus. On its authority she tried to keep us from making any use of our brains for an hour after supper, or from reading at all when our feet were cold. The idea was to prevent conflicting demands on the circulation of the blood. My grandfather told her once that if you couldn't read with cold feet there wouldn't be a literate soul in the state of Maine, but she was very serious about these things and he only irritated her. She said 'Nobody in Maine gets much of anything to eat, so it all comes out even.' When I got home she scrubbed me down and put me to bed and fed me six or seven times a day and forbade me the use of my brain after every single meal. The tedium was considerable."

If she lived today, she'd have a blog. I say this as someone deep in the careful parenting camp. And I'm sure the Internet makes her "health care book" look less like Leviticus and more like a book of nursery rhymes. I know I wield it like a weapon against any potential malady or sign of ill-health that could approach my daughter. And I'm sure a good portion of it is really healthy! Perhaps in a generation or two my daughter will laugh at this area and say "the tedium was considerable." But I hope she'll also remember herself as well-loved.

Speaking of which, you should read (or re-read) Gilead. I've just finished, and I haven't felt this way about prose since I read Breakfast and Tiffany's a couple years ago. I know Robinson is read and loved by plenty of literary connoisseurs, but for the rest of us, well, this book is a feast and there's no shame in being late for it. I won't say too much about it, because it's one of those books that's best left to speak for itself. I'll only mention a couple things. It's the letters of an aging pastor who knows he's dying to his young son. It's beautiful - more like a hike in the country than any sort of action film - with the most nourishing food for thought gently weaved into the narrative. And there's this quote: 

"For me writing has always felt like praying, even when I wasn't writing prayers, as I was often enough. You feel that you are with someone. I feel I am with you now, whatever that can mean, considering that you're only a little fellow now and when you're a man you might find these letters of no interest. Or they might never reach you, for any number of reasons. Well, but how deeply I regret any sadness you have suffered and how grateful I am in anticipation of any good you have enjoyed. That is to say, I pray for you. And there's an intimacy in it. That's the truth."

With this in mind, I intend to write more. 

Doch, English! Bilingual Children in Germany

A smug feeling crept through my chest as I read about the struggles expat mom has with encouraging her son to retain his English in Madrid. Ha. My little half-expat has embraced both her father and mother tongue, to the point where she was translating some of her German kindergarten (preschool over here) songs for my parents over skype. Ah, yes, glory be to the parents who have it all together.

Of course, if we were ever to have another child of a slightly other disposition, any feelings of smugness could be blown out of the water. A next child could be a stubborn monolingual, too. It could have a different personality, talents and behavior patterns, and that instruction book in my mind based on my first child is about as useful as a manual for Gateway Computers. But, I'm not there yet, my child has embraced bilingualism (so far), and I'll fantasize about being that good. I wonder, though, if Germany has built an advantage for raising bilinguals in its own growing multiculturalism.

I was warned that my daughter might reject bilingualism when she entered kindergarten. It happened to a Scottish-German neighbor couple. Their children were doing fine in English until they entered kindergarten full of children who only knew German. No one shared a second language, so they felt isolated and uncomfortable using it. The added fact that children are talented in finding ways to put each other down, and the children suppressed their knowledge of their mother tongue.

Not so for our daughter. Her kindergarten is in the "downtown" part of our little city, which is its own little melting pot. In her kindergarten, monolinguals are the minority. It's not a strange thing to speak a second language; it's the norm. The fact that she's the only English speaker isn't a big deal, but bilingualism by itself seems to count. Whenever I come to pick her up, I'm surrounded by mixed marriages and people speaking Turkish, Russian, Vietnamese, Polish, Greek, Italian, Armenian, and more. Oh yes, German too. These happy babel sounds mean that the ones who suddenly express themselves in another language aren't some horrifying school-child anomaly, like being the only kid in a tacky Christmas sweater in June. It's just something everyone does.

If economic trends continue, things will stay this way. Germany's economy is chugging a long, and it's continuing to attract the most employable young southern Europeans. Many of these technically gifted immigrants, like the Turkish guest workers and Russian-German immigrants before them, will stay, settle, and raise wonderfully bilingual families.

When I spoke to him about his own bilingual children, a French-German father I know shrugged his shoulders and said, "it's completely normal." "Completely normal." All the kids here are bilingual. This encourages my daughter to retain her father tongue, but there's a downside. I've no reason to be smug.

Ten Things To Say to Young Children That Guarantee Their Parents Will Never Ask You To Babysit Them Again

You know you've thought it. You watched the darling couple get married, settle down, blossom, and then, oh tears of happiness! the woman's belly turned into a baby bump, grew, and, before you can shake a pastel-pink rattle - pop - that plushy miniature human is resting and cooing in the arms of a glowing young Mother.

Twelve-thousand Facebook photos later (good luck analyzing those, NSA!), those two parents, all smug and smiling on the Internet, really need a break. I mean, they haven't seen a film since the first Ironman came out, and the wife always mutters "vodka cranberry" every time her bundle of joy comes running. So, they ask you, their very dear friend to babysit. Of course, they think you'd babysit! You've known them since college, were present at every significant event, you wept at their wedding (and overpaid for that tux/bridesmaids dress, mind you) and kept a social media vigil while their child was being born! I mean, of course!

You have two options. You could tell them the truth: "I don't think your kids like me, besides, I can't be confined to your house when you don't even have HBO! I mean, hello, Game of Thrones!"

Nah, I didn't think so. The best approach is the passive-aggressive approach, because it keeps relational conflict below the surface - where it belongs. So option number two is to warp the minds of their kid(s) into such a twisted little pre-kindergarten knot that those mooching parents never ask you to babysit again. You'll have to sacrifice one night of freedom, of course. But to be free for the rest of your life, tell those lil' anklebiters any combination of the following:

1. "Interesting how your dad made you eat all that salad. Dinner at my house was always a snickers bar with a side of gummy bears. Healthy, and better tasting too."
2. "Baseball is an indoor sport. Extra points if you hit Mom's blender!"
3. "Why doesn't your mom still breast feed you? I guarantee you everyone else in preschool is still breast fed."
4. "Your bed is a dangerous place. If your parents loved you, they'd let you sleep in their room."
5. "Yeah, I smoked to impress people at school. It worked, too! Don't regret it one bit." 
6. "I brought over my favorite movie! It's about a little girl like you! It's called The Exorcist!"
7. "Baths are completely unnecessary. A waste of time, if you ask me." 
8. "Wiping your bottom is completely unnecessary. A waste of time, if you ask me." 
9. "Let's call your granny and ask her why Mommy always pays more attention to her iPad than to me." 
10. "Good night! Remember, I promise you can drink a Coke for breakfast." 

Oh, and if you try any of these with my daughter, I'll release a live badger your living room. 

Meanings of Life

Ben Yu asks, "What do you live for?" (HT: Karin)

A brief summary: Yu subscribes to Absurdism and sees life as fundamentally meaningless given the random nature of evolution, as well as the size and age of the universe compared with our mortality and that of our species. If life is meaningless, then what do (or should) any of us live for? So he crowd sourced the question and got some interesting responses. I thought I'd give it a shot. Even though he asked for answers in email, I'm so late composing my thoughts that I thought I'd use it as a chance to blog.

So, what do I live for? More often than not, I find a sense meaning in meeting my own needs. I don't think this is the larger sense of meaning that Yu is looking for (though I suppose this fits with Absurdism), but let's start at the shallow end of the pool. Meeting needs is a very temporary and superficial form of meaning, but I think it's meaning nonetheless. When I'm hungry, I live for food; when I'm thirsty, I live for drink, however temporarily. Then I start to live for companionship, intimacy, occupation, comfort, work, friendship - however you rank them, much of my life revolves around fulfilling my needs in various contexts with different levels of urgency. I choose to live, because I want these things. It's not the big picture, but there's not much time to think about the big picture when your body tells you that you really need a drink of water. Besides, Wu's post implies that next our lives must be absurd when compared to the size and age of the universe. On that scale, our own need-meeting is not much smaller than say, dedicating body and soul to human progress.

It's once I get to my family where I find myself living for other people. I write this with a delightful three-year-old in the room behind me. I've been interrupted to help color and sniff a candle that smells like strawberries. I'm keeping an eye on her so that my wife can fill a another part of her soul - keeping our garden. I got to observe this kind of behavior most of my, coming from a good family where my family seemed to answer Wu's question with, "you." And when I can move on, follow my families example, I live for them, and when I'm at my best, I live for those who I can come across, those who I'm close enough to effectively help. My neighbor.

We're still small and finite, but I don't see why meaning should be intimidated by humanity's relative smallness and finitude. Sure, we're small. How important is that really? Mountains are teensy compared to the size of the world, which is teensy compared to the Solar System, which is which is teensy compared to the Milky Way, etc... In my eyes, mountains are something regal, and their royal beauty is something self evident, and while I can't wrap it in any sort of reason, I walk away from such an experience with a deeper.

These are some of the reasons my faith is Christianity. Christianity offers a deeper sort of meaning that touches not only the unimaginable breadth of the universe(s), but the little meanings we give ourselves, love and altruism, through work and art, down to familial care and meeting our own needs. This implies that there is a God beyond our vast universe(s), who's taken interest in this tiny planet to the point that he became one of us, to be with us.

I'm alerted to God's presence in many ways, not in the least of which is the knowledge of our own smallness in the light of everything science has been teaching us about time and space, past and future. However, he seldom dwells where he can be prodded and studied, but stays where he can be followed with trust, a trust that knows that he is and has lived out the ultimate source of love. If he exists, then he dances like some sort of woodland fairy, unmeasurable, supplying us with love for him and love for others. I find it immensely comforting that, while he remains beyond our measuring devices, he's never beyond basic human intimacy. Can there be more meaning than this?

Christianity reveals a God beyond all measure who was willing to live and die as we do that he may be with us. For those of us who have trusted in him, he becomes our partner as we meet our needs, love our neighbors, and, if all works out, make the world a better place. It attaches me to a community of Christians, locally and internationally, throughout our species (short) time here. It's an amazing gift, and the offer is there. It's meaning, yes. But it's also life and joy and love.

PS: If you like a think, read Yu's blog.

See You Soon, Dr. Willard

A long time ago, a friend told me that by reading the Gospels, she had fallen in love with Jesus once again. That sounded good to me - I mean, loving Jesus was a big part of being a Christian, and I wanted to fall in love with him, just like that old Jars of Clay song. So, I set out and read each of the Gospels. I did this dutifully, from Matthew to John, but I was a teenager and lacked the self-awareness to admit that it didn't have the same effect. The Gospels, the Synoptic Gospels especially, were a sort of mysterious, holy terrain, full of riddles and sort-of-familiar stories that I only assumed had a direct application on my life because I knew they were supposed to. I was down with David and Paul, but I felt like I was missing the main point.

This all changed when I read The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. I may never have learned about the book had it not been assigned reading for my first stint as a campus ministry intern in Freiburg, Germany. It was heady reading for us, and not everyone on my team liked it - I remember one of my colleagues called it "The Divine Confusion" - but for me, it was magic.

The Divine Conspiracy was the first book (or sermon) that took seriously the Kingdom of Heaven. The Synoptic Gospels are full references to it, but it was a phrase I really didn't know how to handle. The Kingdom of Heaven seemed something very different, very separate from the here and now. Of course, as Dr. Willard points out, this isn't the case. Jesus' first message was that the Kingdom of Heaven was something very close. Because of Jesus, God and his own Kingdom, where his will is done, where Love is the law, is something near, if only we repent and belief this Good News.

This is how Dallas Willard explained it, or at least how I understood it. Almost every pastor I've encountered since has stressed that the Kingdom of Heaven is both "now and not yet," meaning that someday Jesus will return and establish the fullness of his Kingdom, but now we get to feel its presence and participate with us, even as we live among a world very much fallen. In The Divine Conspiracy, Willard stresses the "now" part (though the closing chapter is a wondrous reflection of what's to come).  And in his text, following Jesus became an endeavor of delight and urgency. Think of the last project you worked on, be it for work or for school or for whatever, that really felt like it was worth it, like your gifts were being used to create something that, regardless of whatever else was happening, was in and of itself good. That's how Dallas Willard presented the Kingdom of God, and that's how Dallas Willard presented our Lord's opus, the Sermon on the Mount.

The Sermon on the Mount was a particularly hard nut among the Synoptic Gospel mysteries. The understandable critique, a critique that anyone who takes the Sermon seriously has to make, at least once, means: are these even possible? It's beautiful, sure. But it the real world, to rid our lives of anger, contempt, lust, and revenge, not to mention going the extra mile with someone, and all of this without being allowed to show off or worry... well...  It's silly, the way I'm describing it, but it's also honest. It seems a sermon of either ideals or intimidation, rocks that shatter good intentions.

But in a strange way, after reading The Divine Conspiracy, it isn't. To read Dallas Willard means that to follow Jesus in the manner described by his famous sermon is costly, yes, but it's also something rich and rewarding, full of energy without being tiresome. We really can go on the journey rid our lives of these things that suffocate our relationships to our fellow humans - bitter contempt, sexual objectification and revenge fantasies - to live a life where we really love God with all we got and love our neighbors as ourselves. The duty of discipleship became an adventure, a costliness that is worth every ounce of energy expended, for we know that ultimately, it's Christ, his death and Resurrection, that makes the journey possible.

The Kingdom of Heaven is still something mysterious to me, and maybe it's supposed to be. It seems like every pastor or theologian I encounter says something different on the subject, and maybe all of their thoughts fall within a spectrum of truth. But thanks to Dr. Willard, the concept, along with the Synoptic Gospels and the Sermon on the Mount, became something beautiful to me, something that I wanted to enter with all my heart. And with that, Jesus himself, his law, his teaching, his sacrifice and his presence through the Holy Spirit, became more beautiful.

I write this in appreciate and affection for Dr. Willard, who died on May 8th. I am indebted to his life and his teaching, and my highlight-stained copy of The Divine Conspiracy still sits in an open place on my shelf, available for reference.

Family Expressed

How do you express your family? I'm not sure if express is the right word, but I can't think of a better one. Let's see... those people who you live with and share genes and jeans and eat with and love and hurt and see and avoid and mess and clean. How do you present them to the world? After all, if you want the world - friends, colleagues, potential networking contacts, co-members, sports fans, and whomever else - if you want them to actually understand you, they need to understand your family, or at least the pieces you allow to show.

For this purpose, I often utilize that wonderful, free public relations platform called Facebook. There, we wash ourselves and dress up like birthday cakes and smile to create professional-looking photographs that are clearer than reality. They're so clear, they cause the blind to see. Or we get spontaneous shots of playgrounds, snowmen and Christmas presents, family happiness and instant memories. I'm writing with my tongue between my molars, but I do this, and I love it. All these things are worth celebrating like victorious children. Then there are other things beneath the pictures. Messes, tedium, delight, sin, forgiveness, sex, conflict, joy, and things only for the realms of pastors, therapists and bartenders.

To get a more complete family portrait, you need art. For his family portrait, Benjamin Hofer crafted ten songs which lovingly and resolutely fill out his first full-length album, Family History. A few items of business before I continue: Ben is a dear friend - he was the best man at my wedding, and I in his - so you should hear the bias in what I am about to write. His wife Lauren Shea Little on vocals and Wendell Kimbrough in the production chair are also friends. But please taste the free single and see for yourself. This is a good album, perfect for your Saturday-morning song list. (And for a quick overview of all the other useful information surrounding the album, visit Justin's blog)

Ben and Wendell layer vocals, guitars, banjos, percussion, whistling, and plenty more to create the album's thoughtful sound. The production itself is impressive, and it's a compliment to their work, the mastering, and the technology that the album sounds three dimensional, like the musicians are in the room with you and not next door. Most of the music is pleasantly subdued, which makes the title track more of a highlight when, as if releasing some pent up emotion, the musicians start rocking out and fill up every available space with sound.

But even more than layering music, what Family History does well is layer emotions. There are happy songs like "Man's Own Heart" or "We'll Be Laughing" (a personal favorite for me) that carry a splash of regret. Likewise, the sad songs like "Huron, SD" aren't joyless. It's so tempting to talk about family (or for that matter history, love, or politics) in one dimension, and Ben's emotional alchemy not only tells broader stories, it holds the listener to his or her better angels.

However personal Ben's songs are, you'll find yourself nodding, relating and humming along. I spoke with Ben today, and he talked about the joys and pains of sharing family history, but at the same time, he knows that these songs will mean different things to different people. Our families leave us our own scarred map of memories, and Ben's Family History might help shine a light on yours.

One more thing. We expect our entertainment to reach out and grab us. We need a little pizazz from the first page, scene, or song to convince us that we should pay attention. Most of Ben's songs don't reach out and grab us, and I mean that as a compliment. We're adults; we don't need to be grabbed. We have the ability to sit and listen, and that is a marvelous gift. Family History is full of songs like the title track,  "The Dream of Joseph Cornell" or "Huron, SD" that won't greet you at the door like a salesman. But if you sit and listen, you will be rewarded with rich stories told by rich music. As soon as you can, sit down and listen to Benjamin Hofer's Family History. It comes out on April 6th.

The Picnic (Home Sick)

We didn't want to get sick, of course, and we tried everything. But sickness is part of life and winter and public education, and, on the night my daughter's fever set a personal record, our sainted pediatrician was open late treating a relentless line of sniffling kindergartners. That was Thursday, we got the medicine Friday morning. It's Saturday afternoon as a write this, and my daughter is restlessly watching one of the "BBC Earth" films. She wanted to see the one where "the shark eats the seal," which is the first one. This might sound like bragging, as in, "I-got-my-daughter-to-watch-something-educational-nanny-nanny-boo-boo," but really, this my penance for letting her watch a DVD of Disney Princess greatest hits earlier this morning.

Speaking of morning - this morning was very short. Blessedly short. For all the suffering and worrying about a sick child, there is one delicious mercy. We slept in. All of us, including teenie one. Normally, one parent sleeps in while the other does his or her Christian duty to wake up like it's a Tuesday to feed and clothe and entertain a tiny little person. This morning, for perhaps the first time in her life, she out-slept the both of us. I woke up to nothing but sunbeams and quiet. My wife had already gotten up to fix coffee. Our church had it's women's day, where all the ladies sang and ate and encouraged. So I think she's having a good time, even if she had to get up for it. The poor woman. She had a terrible night sleep anyway. My daughter has a fever, but I wasn't spared the sniffles, which means I snored like an eight-hour freight train. My wife informed me of this first thing when I emerged from the bedroom. Maybe she didn't sleep in after all. 

So after a leisury breakfast involving peanut butter and bananas (when you find peanut butter in Europe, you buy lots of it), I helped my sick little daughter up. She ate her light breakfast, slurped her antibiotics and played and toddled around. Not needing much attention, I left her to do some Internet reading (don't worry, my chair was about five feet away from where she was laying on the couch). 

I got lost reading a lovely essay, when, I felt a little tug on my jeans pocket. She's up. "It's time for a picnic, Papa!" I look outside. Snowflakes, lots of them, but too indecisive to stick to the ground. Not picnic weather. Nonplussed, she unrolled a piece of bubble wrap from a package we opened long ago and laid it out on the living room floor. She invited me to her feast, and Î sat down. "What are we eating?" I asked. 

"I have hambooger for you, papa!" 

"mmmm... hamburger. I love hamburgers." I wanted to ask if they were made with horse meat, but I don't think she's up enough on current events to get the joke.

Hamburger finished, she announced, "Î have spaghetti for you!" I'm normally not in the mood for a bowl of spaghetti after a burger, but I didn't wan to be impolite.

"Thank you. Mmmm... that's some good spaghetti!" 

Then we each took a few minutes to pop the bubbles in our picnic blanket. 

Real lunch was served later. I let her watch the Princesses (while wearing her official Cinderella dress) while I fried up some pressed sausage and boiled some potatoes. The Germans call pressed sausage "Fleischkäse," or "meat cheese." It's because it looks and tastes like meat but has the consistency of cheese. I realize this sounds like a form of cafeteria torture, but it's actually quite good, especially if you have onions and a bit of Bavarian sweet mustard. I managed to fry it up on the 2nd try - the first time I left it in the pan too long and the alarms went off. Delicious, even after hamburger and spaghetti. 

Surviving the German Winter Part IV: Temptation

This is part IV of an award-winning*, four-part series on surviving the German winter. You can read part I here, part II here, and part III here. 

Remember your New Years resolutions? New Year, new you and the rest of it? Remember how through the harmonious combination of diet and exercise, you were going to sculpt your body into something that, come summer, will cause traffic accidents outside your house as you flex in your living room with the window open? If you've managed to keep them until now, then let me say this: respect. So many of your comrades have fallen victim to Jack Frost. It's a sick irony that New Years' resolutions are made in the dead of winter. Winter is no season to avoid chocolate. Winter is no season to ride your bike three times a week. You'd be lucky if you can brave the cold enough to get from your office to a fitness studio.

Now don't get me wrong. I've managed to work out during the winter. For a few moments when I step out into sub-zero temperatures to go jogging, I feel like a superhero. I don't feel like a superhero, because I move with superhero strength (nope). I feel like a superhero because winter running tights are the closest I get to wearing a superhero costume in public. If I could find them in patriotic blue with red briefs, I'd be even closer. Mercifully, they're black. The idea is that while running, no one has to see me in them for more than a few moments. Besides, all the Germans wear exercise tights while exercising. Anything less form fitting would be unnatürlich.

***
A brief aside on exercise fashion. When we were back in the States for Christmas, I couldn't help notice how many women wore exercise tights for non-exercise purposes. In the grocery store or around town, the uniform was as follows: exercise tights and tennis shoes (both perfectly clean with no trace of sweat) with a stylish, semi-professional shirt and perfectly placed hair and make up. It was puzzling for these ever-europeanizing eyes. The look suggested, 10K on the bottom, business casual in the middle, job-interview on the top.

***
Ok, winter exercise. Things were going well until one frosty day, I sought to prove I wasn't a Warmdüscher and went running on one of the few forrest paths that wasn't salted. There was only one minor fall, but the awkward running on hard, hard ice was enough to give me a slight tear in the achilles and a week's limp. The doctor gave me some of that magical Chinese tape that all the soccer players are wearing, but the incident was still demotivating. Superheroes don't get small tears thanks to ice and bad form.

I am back to running - carefully - but temptation is much harder to avoid.

This is how it goes: I squeeze my body into my exercise tights and head for the front door when I hear something in the kitchen. It's a voice singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" the way Nora Jones sings it. What is it? Oh, don't play the curiosity card. I know dagum well what it is. It's that Swiss chocolate bar that I was supposedly saving for the moment my ambitions were realized. It's supposed to be my, my reward, for crying out loud! Well... some things deserve a reward. Something like thinking about going running in the sleet. (Big eyes. Pouty face) Just one. little. chocolaty. square. Where's the harm in one tiny little square? Besides, I'm an American! A free person, using my agency to maximize my utility! Why do I need to conform to puritan notions of nutrition? I can have a little taste - just a taste - if I want. Who's going to judge me? If I eat, say one row of squares, I mean, I could devour the whole chocolate bar, but what's the harm in one, harmless row of squares? I mean, baby it's cold outside, and I, frankly, could use a little comfort in trying times (like January or February). I deserve to be comforted, and I don't see why you should judge me!

But what's this? No... Some how, my chocolate bar has found a boy chocolate bar and multiplied. There's a good dozen Swiss chocolate bars that inexplicably found their way into the secret corners of our kitchen. Dark. Milk. White. Hazelnut. Minty. Oh, and Marzipan! No prejudice, just the entire variety of chocolate experience in one snack drawer. I mean, I have no choice but to try them all. It's my duty as a connoisseur to know, to understand all of the tastes! I could write a blog about it, too, and wasn't that another one of my New Year Resolutions? It won't be more than two or (in extreme circumstances) three squares each, and, yes, I know that will all add up to more than one chocolate bar, there will still be plenty left to share with my wife and daughter, provided they come home soon. Speaking of my daughter, I know the packet of gummy bears is her reward for successful potty training, but... she won't notice if a few are missing. You can't accuse me of taking candy from a baby - she's over three! Baby was so a year and a half ago. Oh, and what is that smell? Why, did the oven just give birth to cinnamon rolls? Two or three, while they're fresh. I shouldn't eat too much. After all, I intend to pop open a hard earned Hefeweizen at the end of the day, so I need to save room.

...yeah...

The worst thing you can do for your New Years Resolution is lock yourself in from the blizzard surrounded by candy and beer. Just don't do it. Instead, pack your winter stocks with tomato juice, herbal tea, mandarin oranges, walnuts and whole-grain bread. Also, don't go running when your belly is full of chocolate. And, don't run on the one path in Germany that isn't salted. Take it from me.

*I gave myself the award for best series published on the blog in February. 

Surviving the German Winter Part III: Don't Get Sick

This is part III of a four-part series on surviving the German winter. You can read part I here and part II here. 

The most important thing about the winter? Don't get sick. Ban disease from your presence. Avoid it like.... ok, I won't finish that sentence. Winter sickness is spawned in the floors and desks of kindergartens and elementary schools all over the world, where it's then carried to bus drivers, parents, grocery store workers, office drones and government employees. If you have kids, then, or if you know someone who has kids, or, if you're vaguely aware of the presence of children within a fifty-mile radius of your front stoop, then you need to take the appropriate defense measures.

First, flu shot. It's just a pinch, folks! Then, the teas. Here in Germany, flu shots are under-girded by liters upon liters of Gesundheitstee. Gesundheitstee comes from the German words, Gesundheit, which, you probably know from sneezing, means "health", and Tee, which is how I spelled the word "tea" in first grade (someone should probably point this out to the Germans and get back to them once they corrected their documents). Most of them taste like hot, piping vegetable liquid, which is to say they're delicious. Also, innovate Germans like my wife make tea using real ingredients. You know those tea bags full of ginger and honey flavoring you can get at the grocery store? Well, here's a breakthrough - for roughly the same time, cost and effort, you can make ginger-honey tea using... wait for it... actual ginger and honey, which is a heck of a lot healthier than whatever it is they put in those other teas. Ahh... warm hot tea is just what you need after a day of your daughter using your sleeves as a hankie. Put in a spoon full of honey and open a Charles Dickens book if you're really feeling wild. You can also bathe in the stuff, or try to breathe it to relieve your throbbing sinuses. Just remember, don't drink the tea you bathe in.

Then, vitamins. Vitamins, vitamins, vitamins. Germans have many vitamin-enhanced products, often things you fizz up in water or pills or vitamin-enhanced tea, with various combination for every situation or stage in life. Then, Der Spiegel told us that the Pharma industry was lying to us (the title of the piece translates: "The Vitamin Lie," but they should have taken a page from Dawkins to call it "The Vitamin Delusion," which would have been snappier) and that we could get all the vitamins we need from food. So now, I'm eating less vitamins, except the vitamins that I'm getting from food, which I'm told is plentiful.The way to do this is buy those tennis ball crates they use for practice and fill them with oranges. An orange a day keeps the sickness at bay. At least, until you get sick. I don't recommend using the tennis ball shooter though, at least if you want to use the oranges.

Then, of course, there's prayer. I can't say if prayer gives me some sort of psychological advantage in the face of disease, but that's not the point. I wish prayer worked like a magical incantation, where I get to use supernatural forces to bend the world to my whims. Otherwise, I would have waived my wand to straighten my teeth like Hermione Granger did instead of suffering through five years of braces. It works like this. I pray for my health, which could affect my family's health, or finances and much more, and I find myself trusting God with these issues. This introduces peace into my life. Then, I pray for the health of my wife and my daughter. My wife has been sick this winter, and my daughter could easily get sick and get us sick. But I trust God with this. Some more peace, usually, but even better, praying them leads to think of them more, realize my thankfulness for them, think of them more than I think of myself, and love them in ways even deeper then before. This happens as well when I pray for those in our community, especially for those who've gotten sick.

The problem starts when the prayers turn into actions. I had a roommate who hated prayer. He was from Mexico, and he believed the church there just prayed about problems instead of taking steps to solve them. That hasn't been my experience. The best pray-ers I've known, the ones who've really done it and stuck with it, have been the ones who were quickest to put love into actions. That's why a friend of mine got sick. While another friend and her husband suffered through the flu, my friend took care of their daughter and caught whatever bug they had. I think she's near recovered, but as I write this, my wife is watching her daughter while she's at the doctors office. With such actions, my wife's liable to find herself sick this winter. Which is no fun. I pray she doesn't get sick she's been fighting a cold already. But giving your body for love has a president in Christian history.

Surviving the German Winter Part II: Play in the Snow

This is part II of a four-part series on surviving the German winter. You can read part I here. 

Once the snow comes, the kids naturally want to play in it. My daughter has seen enough Christmas specials to know that as soon as the ground is white, all the neighborhood kids burst out the front doors, armed with sleds and cherry-red mittens. They make enormous snowmen with pipes and coal for eyes (I have never seen a three year old walking around with a pipe and and two lumps of coal, though I guess that's what they all did in the 50s when the Christmas specials were filmed) and toboggan down enormous hills. These are my memories as well. What I don't remember is the battle Armageddon my mother must have went though just to get three kids dressed for the winter. I'm struggling with just one.

It takes about seven and a half hours to dress your average three year for snow. Five of those is just getting her little fingers into those friggin mittens, but the rest consists of several pairs of tights, wooly socks over thins socks, hats not truly designed for children, water-resistant snow pants with zippers to bleed your fingers and the most incomprehensible pair of snow boots in the world (they look so simple, then you try to put her feet in them). Once my daughter is wearing enough layers that I could safely roll her down a mountain with a sled (don't worry, haven't tried it, no plans to), she removes her scarf from her lips and announces that she has to go potty.

With this news in mind, I teach my daughter three choice curse words, and frantically unbutton and unzip enough for her to do her business at the proper way in the proper place. By the time everything's ready to go, of course she's already soiled herself. I can now only sigh and check which of her many layers are salvageable and which need to go directly to laundry. My daughter, then, sees her shadow in the bathroom light and declares six more weeks of potty training. Or, I could just remember to let her empty herself before we hit the sleds.

Of course, we've managed to go out in the snow a couple times this winter. It's fun - watching a little girl discover how snow crunches under her little boot is a reminder of all that is good about life. But it only takes a couple of snowfalls to crush a few of your idyllic snow scenes, and this has much to do with the nature of snow itself. You really can't have it all. Snow that is powdery and good for sledding is rubbish for snowmen, and wet, heavy snow ain't up to snuff when it comes for sledding. The snow is the great decider of your activities, even as your daughter is screaming "I WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAAANNNNNN!!!" Nope! We're going sledding, darlin'! This is after we built a snowman that looked more like a six-inch dollop of whipped cream. Just like in the commercials.

Surviving the German Winter Part I: Salt it. Salt it Good.

I came back suntanned and smiling from my Christmas vacation only to find Germany suffering under a plague of fog and gray. This happens every year, but I tried not to think about it when I was cycling around the big lake near my parents' Orlando residence. A few weeks later, we're adjusting, and as a brave, experienced winter warrior (with icicles hanging from my beard as my huskies struggle to pull textbooks over the Swabian Alb), I feel it my duty to offer the following survival advice for sun-stroked southerners. This is the first in a four part series on surviving the German winter.

When the winter comes, the Germans salt it, and salt it good. I used to live in the Washington  DC area,  and no one bothers salting anything until at least two blissful snow days pass and everything from the local schools to the national government shuts down. This annoyed the hearty northerners, who see snow as an invitation to the office, but for the rest of us, well, hello snowball fight! In this part of the world, there's no difference between work day and snow day. I awoke one morning after it had snowed through the night only to see streets and bike lanes so clear, you'd think the Red Baron had flown over Plochingen in a salt-shooting crop duster. Well, no, that's not how it really happens (unfortunately). As soon as potential snow is reported, salt truck swat teams are deployed all over the nation. They are the salt of the earth, and if the earth loses its saltiness, all the Daimlers slide into the Neckar River causing world-wide economic inefficiency, which is the worst possible thing that could happen. Also, since the cyclists here aren't the kind of Warmduschers who use sub-zero temperatures as an excuse to sit by the heater, the city is kind enough to salt most of the bike lanes as well. Warmduscher literally means "warm showerer" but really means wussypants. In Germany, you're a wussypants if you waste valuable energy resources by heating water to wash yourself.

However, the state doesn't salt most of the sidewalks. That it leaves to the power of collective legal coercion. Back home in the USA, you can spill hot coffee on yourself and and sue McDonald's for millions. In Germany, the quickest way to get rich is to slip on the ice in front of some irresponsible person's (likely, a foreigner) house who failed to salt and shovel before sunrise. Thus, every snow day at 6 AM, Germans of all ages can be seen working like ants to de-ice the sidewalk in front of their house with the harried look we all get when thinking about potential lawsuits.

Even as this excess of salt turns the average snow-on-the-street into a grayish sludge, the snow on the roofs and mountains remains exquisite.  In my sunny Christmas post, I joked about preferring a sunny Christmas to a white one, but a good blanket of snow is better than pretty much any other winter weather north of the Mediterranean. You see, for this southern expat, the worst part of winter has nothing to do cold or ice or frost, but everything to do with the darkness. The sun barely bothers to rise this far north and usually wears gray clouds like a dull fur coat. The lack of light turns the world pale and bleak and lonely. This is worst when combined with that weather we now call "wintry mix." The clouds spew this horrid precipitation that's somewhere between rain and snow and sleet and spit. Temperature and water particles combine as if the heavens are mocking the lack of commitment so pervasive in my generation.

Snow, though on colder days, gives winter a surprising warmth. The mountains and the rooftops are frosted white, and each snowflake works together to catch whatever light their is and reflect heavenward, reminding every pilgrim that in the darkness the sun still exists, and spring will be here soon enough. Let it snow.

The 2012 Holiday Movies: A Nostalgic Look Back

I saw five films this Yuletide season, and to my surprise, I liked them all. This could mean that getting older, living in Germany, wanting to impress people, or writing a blog have not yet managed to make me a proper critical curmudgeon, though I'm reeeeally trying (see below). Still, no one wants pay for a movie they don't like, and I'm almost afraid to see another one lest I break the streak. Here are a few thoughts on the movies, in the order in which I saw them.

Skyfall - At this point, it shouldn't be a spoiler that the latest 007 is setting up a reboot - reintroducing old characters, killing off another old one. I don't mind. The only part I minded so much was the "getting-shot-off-a-moving-train-into-a-river-but-still-surviving" part that was pushing it, even by Bond standards. But a big part of the fun is always watching how they re-brand this product of the Cold War to fit into the modern era and still maintain the spirit of 007. I'm curious how the next installments will handle the resurrected Moneypenny (Mark Steyn has an interesting essay on the old one and the actress who played her). Like every Bond film, there was plenty of booze, women, travel, chases, fights and villains - Javier Bardem combined the slimy, the ruthless and the genius archetypes into one - so much so that he doesn't need a memorable sidekick like Oddjob. Action and food for thought.

Cloud Atlas - I hate saying how much fun I had at this movie. I hate admitting that I was giddy as a hyena juggling the plots, actors, times, directors and gobs of race-bending makeup. I hate it. I hate it because all the cool people, by which I mean the critics at intellectual, left-leaning websites and radio stations hated the film. And I want to fit in with the cool kids. It's probably because I haven't read David Mitchell's book just yet (I got it for Christmas, though it's an edition with a movie poster for a cover, which also embarrasses me). I came in with a blank slate and remained engrossed  from start to finish. I was warned I'd get lost the first time, but even watching it dubbed in German, I had no problem following. There was fun aplenty just watching where the characters show up (Hugh Grant as a tribal chieftain in a post-apocalyptic future!), and I thought the plots, past and future, weaved together nicely. My favorite plot is the adventure of Somni 451 in Neo Seoul - Doona Bae is excellent. Maybe I'll hate the film after I've read the book. But I'll probably still hate the fact that I love the film so much.

Lincoln - I love Lincoln the more I think about it. I was still fighting off holiday jetlag when I saw it back in the USA, and between then and now, I read my father's copy of Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin, the film's principle source. There's a cynicism, brewed in anyone who reads too much Internet or lives in Germany, about any hero type, especially a historical hero type, that nobody can be so good, that there's some clever person out there to deconstruct our hero so we might as well prepare ourselves for disappointment. Yet Lincoln, freely willing to deconstruct himself, still stands as a real American hero. Not a military man, no formal education, and not even the most progressive of his day on the issues of race and slavery, yet he was the one who had the fortitude to preserve the union, free the slaves and, according to Goodwin's accounts, managed to treat those around him with dignity. I wish I had these honest Abe traits - a real genius who managed to like and respect those around him, even those you'd forgive him for hating. Thus, Spielberg's saintly portrayal is not Hollywood sentimentality but something good and right, and I can't wait to see the film a second time. The New Yorker's review makes this point: "The movie itself feels alive with disquiet, torn between its duty to tell an earthly, complex tale and - as so often with Spielberg - the urge to break free and rise to the realm of myth." The more I think about Lincoln the man, the more I can relate. A few more scattered thoughts - add my thanks to all of those thanking Spielberg and his writer, Tony Kushner, for focusing on a small sliver of Lincoln's life rather than shooting another bloody biopic. Nonetheless, the film doesn't forget to deftly include Lincoln's family dynamics, and I thought Sally Field was great as Mary Todd. Some of the best scenes were from their stormy, loving marriage. Oh, and, you got to love anyone who can tell a funny story in the middle of a crisis. By the way, should anyone other than Daniel Day Lewis be nominated for best actor? ... Nah, I don't think so either.

Argo - My second dose of American history and a small, exciting, redemptive story out of the 1970 Iran hostage crisis. Credit to director Affleck for not white-washing America's role in the mess that Iran became (the opening history lesson makes this very clear) while still nurturing our natural sympathies for the hostages whose lives were in real danger. A small thing - it was fun to see John Goodman as Hollywood make-up artist John Chambers. John Goodman always makes his films better.

The Hobbit - Unlike Cloud Atlas, I have no trouble admitting how much I loved the film. I am a JRR Tolkien lover, but I'm not enough of a nerd to have ready all of the notes and encyclopedias and extra stuff (though I did get the painting Calendars through college). So for the most part, I know where Peter Jackson varied from the original text in his expanded and stretched out film, and the only thing that really bothered me was the (spoiler, but honestly...) a forced redemption scene at the end where Bilbo, in classic Peter Jackson slow motion, saves Thorin Oakenshield's life. A big part of the story is Bilbo finally earning Thorin's respect, but did they really need to create a forced, magic moment out of nowhere? But other than that, good times all around. I particularly loved how he made Thorin so compelling. And of course, it's great watching Jackson's imagination come to life and comparing it with your own. Whatever the real fans pick at, Peter Jackson knows how to speak to that little boy in me playing with dinosaurs and action figures on the kitchen counter twenty some years ago. When Peter Jackson remade King Kong, I remember hearing a commentator complaining about how he left out the social and racial commentary of the first film. I'm sure a better movie wouldn't have done so. But he did produce a scene where King Kong fights a Tyrannosaurus Rex - a scene I had acted out in my little imagination so many times. My adult, pseudo-critic wasn't satisfied, but the little boy thought, "now THAT was cool."

So, my holiday movies. I haven't seen the other notables, such as Anna Karenina, Django Unchained, Life of Pi, Zero Dark Thirty, or a certain musical based on my favorite novel, and no promises on those for various reasons. But Tinseltown had a nice Christmas, didn't it? What were your favorite movies?