Under with Undershirts

When I spent a summer working and ministering in Yellowstone National Park, there were quite a few European students who had traveled across the pond for their American mountain adventure. Being a student myself at the time, a popular topic was the differences in atmosphere between European and American universities. I remember a French girl whose face lit up with a smile of disbelief when I explained that it was not unusual for girls in my school, to show up for class in their pajamas. “If I did that, everyone would talk about me!” she laughed in her disarming French accent.

In truth, I was not taken aback myself by the casualness of the American student. Indeed, I have found it natural and refreshing, a statement to the world that appearance, smooth faces, combed hair and pressed shirts don’t matter. However, perhaps showing my age, as well as the conservative, professional attitude of the city in which I live, I have noticed the rise of a fashion that is too casual by even my low standards. It is now cool among young men to walk around in their undershirts, without an overshirt to hide them.

I understand part of the appeal. They are very inexpensive, they breathe well (any material that thin and cheaply put together breathes well) and, for those who have it, they don’t hide the shape masculine broad shoulders and big biceps (though this is not a precursor to most of the young men who wear them).

However, these thin shirts are designed to be sweat-catchers, and nothing more. These sweat-catchers prevent, sometimes in vain, us men from fouling our offices with body odor or turning our nice work shirts a putrid shade of tan. Moreover, they are not designed for modesty. The unsightly man-nips can be seen, particularly when the classroom air-conditioning is cranking to combat the summer heat. Chest, armpit and even back hair sprout through the translucent  material like weeds through a city sidewalk. Any sign of sweat turns even the freshest white shirt into a shade of fleshy pink.

Undershirts also give an aura of mediocrity. It is by far the most un-creative of clothes, surpassing even tighty-whities. The white blandness simply lacks personality. Most rebellious fashion statements – tattoos, piercings, heavy-metal T-shirts – gave the wearer a sense of color and character. An undershirt that is not under anything seems to drain the wearer of all of these things. This does not mean our white-clad young friends are as colorless in their minds as they are in their clothes. However, our clothes, even the most mundane and casual, are a great way to express the quirky parts of our personalities that we don’t always get to put into words.

This is particularly troubling given the wide and cheap availability of T-shirts. Indeed, we are living in a golden age of cheap cotton garments. There are hundreds of competing websites where aspiring casual fashionistas can submit and sell their design or joke. The best ones usually end up in Justin's collection. Moreover, every event, sports-team, university and politician will have a cool T-shirt just for you. On Thursday night, I saw the Capitol Hill athletes of the DC soft-ball leagues. They were having their post-game drinks at the Southeast Capitol bars. The shirts were creative and had cool colors and pictures.  My favorites were a team called “big in Japan” and had an ancient, Asian-looking fish on the front. As I write this, I am wearing one of my favorite T-shirts: a kelly-green shirt from my Katrina-recovery days. Good work, good color, good memories, not to mention, much more exciting than any of my barely-threaded sweat-catchers that I wear under my button-downs.