Caught on Camera

Off early for Memorial Day Weekend, I took advantage of a little downtime to enjoy a full episode of This American Life. I commend most episodes, but I was particularly compelled by "Home Movies," because, newly married, newly fathered, I am at a point in my life where the camera starts rolling (in most cases, Justin's flip cam). "Home Movies" features five acts about, well, home movies, in which the This American Life correspondents, years after the fact, give characteristically insightful reflections on their own videos (David Sedaris' reflections on his mother and home movies is especially touching - I'd describe it more, but you'd be better off just listening to it).

The prologue is an interview with Alan Berliner, who made a film from six years of collecting home videos called Family Album. Berliner reminds us (to use the words from the website) that home movies almost always "document rites of passage, like birthdays or weddings, or moments of leisure - the beach is especially big. They show our lives as we want them to look, but maybe not as they actually do."

This is true. But it is tempting to conclude from this sentence that there is something inauthentic about rites of passage or leisure. Yes, these events are the exception and not the norm of how we spend our time. They can even seem anti-climatic when compared to weeks or month of preparation and anticipation. Yet, when I turn inward (my favorite place to turn!), these moments, alongside my greatest failures, that reel round and round in my head. Perhaps a more authentic home video of my life would include failures, humiliations and mundane day-to-day living, but rites of passage and leisure are genuine representations as to where I want to be and what I want to achieve.

Yes, the happy vacationing family may fight and fall apart. More marriages fail than I care to think about. Children singing "Happy Birthday" may grow up to be miserable adults. But keeping the good memories alive reminds us that they are no less real. They don't all need to be plastic castles of matching shirts and overpriced parties. What's "really" going on includes good and bad, happy and sad, mundane day-to-day and beach vacations.

Last week, a rite of passage was caught on tape. My daughter was baptized. There was much that led up to it that was not caught on tape. We spent a lot of time worrying. Where would our relatives sleep? Would we have significant time for them? Who would bake cakes for the party? Do we have enough paper plates? Would my daughter choose the moment of her baptism to soil her white gown with one of her patented "mega-poopies"?

Yet, for all the pomp and circumstance, this was the moment she entered God's church - set apart to reflect Him in His community. The gown - my mother found a hand-stitched English gown, plus a white, drool-catching bib with a cross and two doves (the Holy bib of Pentecost) - she will really only wear once, like a wedding dress and a prom dress. My pastor baptized her, along with two boys, and paraded everyone around the church. We said the Apostles creed, and promised, with God's help, to raise her in the faith, fighting bravely against the world, the flesh and the devil.

This event not only reflects a deeper, authentic reality, but it is this reality that undergirds and shapes the rest of life - celebrations, mundane passages or failures - everything we won't catch on camera.