Pimp My Dad

What does the hip father look like?

I've seen him on Capitol Hill, Saturday morning in my favorite coffee shop, or strutting like a aged rooster over Washington's crooked sidewalks. He's over forty, and middle-age chub around the belly notwithstanding, he's a damned fine looking gentlemen. Well cropped hair (though he has a fairly normal haircut, you can tell he does a bit better than the local Hair-Cuttery), with a distinguished gray frost.

But what makes him stand out is his gear, something I would never have noticed before I shopped for baby gear myself. Baby gear reminds me of camping gear. When I spent my summer in Yellowstone telling hippies and foreigners about Jesus, everyone there was separated into the haves and the have-nots of camping gear. I had some modest hiking boots, a decent sleeping bag and a Jansport backpack. The "haves" had an impressive assortment of lightweight, expensive contraptions that made sure they would win any battle with whatever nature had to throw at them. Not only could they sleep in their sleeping bags and 20-below, but I suspect the material would have protected the sleeper through a buffalo-stampede. Grizzly bears couldn't bite through their fleeces.

The hip father wears similar gear, except it's all designed to somehow attached a baby to his person. His stroller would survive a monster-truck rally, and costs as much as a used Nissan. His baby carrier is bullet-proof, and can carry the baby front, back, sideways, up and down. Incidentally, with his smart phone attached to his face and his baby attached to his gut, his hands swing unfettered. The baby sucks on pacifiers and bottles custom-designed for his little mouth in lab somewhere in Nevada. The baby onesies are name-brand and designed in Milan.

My little girl will sleep, play, nap and be changed in her pack-in-play. Our baby-carriers will may give me a bad back, but I'll carry her around proud. Our stroller's just a frame where we can hook a fairly decent car-seat, which is a beautiful bright red. We've been blessed with all sorts of handmedowns for her to wear - and Lord willing we will bless others with our own hand-me-downs. For some reason, baby clothes seem better shared, and some of the stuff we have is cool. She's an infant, not a teenager. She won't care if her dad is not hip.