Even better, I talk like I know about sports...

I just saw a great commercial on ESPN.

As I write this, I am watching the University of Washington play Pittsburg in college basketball. Not because I am a particular fan of either team, but because it's Saturday and I want to do something relaxing. Besides, there's something fresh and raw and deliciously tribal about college sports that professional sports can't seem to match. It's messier, but it's a passionate mess.

Anyway, the commercial was advertisement for ESPNews, the network's 24 hour sports-news channel. It's like a never-ending episode of Sports Center. Anyway, the protagonist of this commercial was a man who clearly didn't know sports and always embarrassed himself by saying obvious sports falsehoods. ESPN news cures him. He ends the commercial saying, "now I know about sports. Even better, I talk like I know about sports."

What a great line. Credit the commercial makers for sneaking some social commentary in ESPN's attempt to grasp viewers and money.

It's part of our nature, isn't it? We want to pose, we want to present ourselves as something. Our ancients painted their faces to demonstrate their prowess in battle. We wear the right close and speak the right language. It's better to talk like I know about sports. I feel that pressure in Washington. Everyone here is an expert. I feel something like penis envy at every party where I find myself drinking wine with someone obviously more knowledgeable about wine than me. I can never remember what grape gives what taste to what wine-sort from what region. I just know that Spanish wine I drank with Daniela in Malaga was one of the best tastes I've ever had in my mouth. Of course, I can't brag about my travels anymore, not with my co-workers laughing about good times in that one party district in Hong Kong. Yet I want to, immensely.

I don't need ESPNews. I need a 24 hour news station filled with facts about culture, politics, philosophy and travel, so I could wow my friends. Who needs education when you can talk like you're educated.

I wonder if this is fueling my ambition for higher education more than I let on. I do have some pure motives (the post-modern in me replies that no motive could ever truly be pure. Perhaps I should conclude that it's better not to have motives). I honestly love to learn. I want to show Jesus to people somehow, and I want to do this from a position of knowledge and understanding. I truly love culture, art, travel, coffee and wine.

Yet, there's a part of me that's uncomfortable not being the coolest guy in the room. It's amazing how much that steals the joy all these things bring.