Searching for Authenticity, Orlando

"That day, flying over central Florida, Disney decided that he, not reality, would define what constituted the Magic Kingdom in the minds and spending habits of millions of Americans in the years to come."

I almost stole a magazine from a hospital patient. A woman I know had been hospitalized for over three-weeks with a ruptured appendix. She spent those days laying such pain, it was difficult to read anything. Thus, I thought National Geographic might be a good gift for her. If she was in too much pain to read, she would have brilliant photographs of elephants, sharks and exotically dressed humans to place before her eyes. Of course, if she was well enough to read, the articles are interesting and informative.

As I thumbed through the issue on the bus to Georgetown Hospital, I discovered that city I consider my hometown was featured in an article. It is a surreal experience to see something with which I am intimately familiar gracing the glossy pages of National Geographic. There are articles about the preservation of sharks, the protection of elephants, and a black market of animals stolen from Indonesia. The issue takes you from India, to sub-Saharan Africa, to a computer simulation that retraces an exploding start, to... Orlando - an area so unnatural that one could hardly call a study of it geography.

The article has the typical National Geographic tone - disinterested yet interesting journalistic writing laced with scholastic aptitude, all describing streets on which I have driven, buildings in which I have found an air-conditioned refuge, food I have eaten, and, of course, theme parks (guess which one in particular) I have patroned. The first few paragraphs reveal its accuracy, and the fact that the writer has much of the same puzzles about the area that I have had. I nearly put it in my bag and bussed home. Instead, I gave it to the sick woman, and bought my own copy at a drug store that weekend. Of course, you can read the article for free right here: http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0703/feature4/index.html.

T.D. Allman, the article's writer, proclaims Orlando to be "the new American Metropolis." Through him, the reader is treated to a tour of everything Orlando is: the good, the bad and the unnatural. Mostly the unnatural. It's new. "This, truly, is a 21st-century paradigm: It is growth built on consumption, not production; a society founded not on natural resources, but upon the dissipation of capital accumulated elsewhere; a place of infinite possibilities, somehow held together, to the extent it is held together at all, by a shared recognition of high-way signs, brand names, TV-shows, and personalities, rather than any shared history. Nowhere is the juxtaposition of what America actually is and the conventional idea of what America should be more vivid and revealing," he writes. What does that mean? Mega-churches, McMansions and Mickey Mouse. The American dream, made more affordable and seeming more surreal as we become financially prosperous.

One morning last winter, I was driving to work, and I saw an eerie image that typifies much of what Orlando is, and I was happy that National Geographic photographed it. I was on a long stretch of land, land that still had its original trees, but land that you knew would soon be devoured by development. Every year, hundreds of thousands of people follow sunshine and economic opportunity to Central Florida. Thus, there are always houses to be built. I glanced out the right windshield and saw a forest of lampposts. Roughage had been cleared away for row after row of lampposts. No buildings or sidewalks, just lampposts. It looked post-apocalyptic. It was actually pre-neighborhood. Soon grass would be brought from somewhere else, and if the markets are good, and neighborhood, just like the one I call home, will be built. But it doesn't have to look this way. "Don't want to live in a produced, instant 'community'?" writes Allman, "No problem. Orlando's developers, like the producers of instant coffee, offer you a variety of flavors, including one called Tradition."

This is Orlando. The American dream being unfolded and placed on top of land that was deemed useless by farmers. Disney saw its potential, and while his full utopia was not realized, business is booming, and the wealth is spreading to the rest of America. Here in DC, the hip neighborhood is Clarendon, and it carries the eerie oder of palm-trees, orange juice and red lobster. There's some places I love, like Iota, where Ben plays open-mic nights, or Hard Times Cafe, which serves some amazing Chili. Yet, so much of it looks like Orlando to me. All the stores of the local multi-plex - Barnes and Noble, Chiptoles, the Gap. Everything I seem to feel I need. Don't like the increasingly uniform nature of American cuisine? Blame the Darden Corporation, which, according to Allman, is Orlando's first Fortune 500 company, which has been cranking out Olive Gardens and Red Lobsters in a neighborhood near you, particularly new, up and coming neighborhoods like Clarendon. Food is standardize to meet (or to create?) an American palate. These are fine, and I'm told they are great for the economy. But give me a restaurant that grew up with the land, that tastes like what DC, Chicago, New York or New Orleans has to offer me, that represents its people. (I'm sure Olive Garden is working on this)

It would be tempting to write Orlando off as something plastic. Much of it lacks that wood-smelling, perfectly imperfect "something" that we generally refer to as character. Yet, I've lived there, and I can report that within the megachurches and mcmansions, beneath the surface, are genuine people with all humanity has to offer. Allman found Orlando's irresistible ethnic diversity, particularly within its high schools. Go to any downtown nightclub and watch the Latinos dance as if they are made of liquid. Go to any high school and listen to spanish accents speak to southern accents, as differences come together and discover humanity. He also found it in a small Buddhist temple, which seems like a contrast between the megachurches and the parachurch organizations that seem to be the religious choice of a market-driven lifestyle. But visit these churches for a moment and watch the men and women with their hands raised, singing to God above the blaring speakers of the latest sound-system. Watch my father's church, as his community of "McMansioners", lawyers, corporate executives and school teachers rallied to provide furniture and amenities for the local Middle School janitor's family.

There may be a lot to criticize. Allman acknowledges that the "gospel according to Disney is an optimistic message of self-fulfillment of wanting something so badly that your dreams really do come true." So, is Orlando babel? For some people, maybe. But within my dad's church community are people who see these franchise restaurant and well-marketed neighborhoods as means of hard work and existence, knowing full well that the real Gospel is something deeper, is using these resources to help others. The para-church organizations Allman criticizes were the first responders to Hurricane Katrina, providing food, shelter and water to the Gulf Coast as the government and the red cross were falling all over each other. Musically, Orlando is known for boy bands and the Mickey Mouse club. What's more representative of our fair city than the Backstreet Boys - a band designed to sell records and make money? But check out www.theoaksband.com for some music that brings Afghanistan through the lens and poetic thoughts of a native Floridans for some beautiful results. Will they make any money? I hope so. Proceeds from their albums goes to a charity bringing supplies to Afghanistan's poor. A charity based in Orlando no less.

My youngest sister ranks among the most authentic people I know. She moved to Orlando pre-kindergarten, asking where the rides were when we showed up to our sulfur-smelling neighborhood. She grew up in the strangely shaped Florida houses, attended church in buildings that looked like offices and walked on grass that was landscaped by dark-colored, spanish-speaking men whose faces we all too easily forgotten. Yet, as she eats her Panera bread and meets her friends at Barnes & Noble, she finds ways to ornament herself, ways to read, ways to think and ways to believe in God that are unique to her. Her friends are like her. The centers to their jokes and conversations are often about "brand-names, TV shows and personality," but now they all have shared history. Every summer they faced the storms and the heat, every day at high school they intermingled with people who were born with different colors and speak with different accents. Many of her friends grew up as missionaries (often associated with the much-maligned para-church organizations). Florida's schools may not rank well nationally, but I wager that Orlando's kids know as much, if not more, about the rest of the world than any community in America. My sister's a part of that. Her authentic self took root in the un-authentic landscapes of (perhaps overly) planned communities. Orlando may have brought us Red Lobster, Mickey Mouse and the Backstreet Boys. But it's also raising a generation of people, like my sister, who will change the world for the better. I doubt she'll feel any uneasiness when she looks at Orlando and says, "that's home."

Multi-Tasking

I'm talking to my roommate as I write this. The International Herald Tribune says I should not be. Check out this warning to all of us multi-taskers (I didn't read the whole thing, because I was checking email, hearing voicemail, and chewing gum): http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/03/25/business/multi.php.

Christian Music

A few months ago, I read a Newsweek (or was it Time?) review of Chris Tomlin. The magazine admired his ability to make popular songs, not by selling records, but rather writing songs that are sung by millions every Sunday morning across the USA. However, it reminded me that often there is something deeper. It mentioned how one of his songs (which I happen to like and has been sung by every church I've attended since its inception) could to compare with the likes of classical Christian music of previous centuries. It's a bit like saying Metallica can't compare with Wagner, but it made its point.

Uwe Siemon-Netto, in the below article from the journal First Things shows us how Bach has been an effective tool of worship and ministry, particularly for those who perform his work.

http://www.firstthings.com/article.php3?id_article=2628&var_recherche=Bach

We may be excited when Chris Tomlin is interviewed in a national magazine, or when Mercy Me is played on "secular" radio, or even when a Christian like Sufjan Stevens is considered artistic and avaunt garde. However, in a Christian culture where to sing "Come Thou Found of Every Blessing" a Capella (and this is one of my favorite ways to worship) is considered "singing the classics," perhaps it would do us some good to educate ourselves about Bach and Handel, among many others.

Book List II

I realize I said I'd do a book list once a week. However, this week was further proof that in DC, every evening can be filled up with some sort of occasion, which made for little time and less reading. However, I did manage to add a book to the list, and I'm almost finished with it!


1) "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Henri Nouwen. I was hoping to be finished with this by now, but this is not the type of book to rush through. Many who have already read the work have told me the last chapter is the best. I'm not sure about that, though hopefully I will mature into the kind of person who may think that way. The first three chapters are about Gospel Comfort, the way that rebel and pharisee alike are called home to the Father's celebration. The final chapters are about the calling to become like the Father, to "be compassionate as your Father is compassionate." This is where comfort gives way to growth, which is always a more difficult aspect of the Christian life. Nouwen himself is forthright about his difficulties here - which is comforting in its own way: The Harvard scholar-priest who forsook further educational glory to minister to the mentally handicapped confesses many inner difficulties with the challenges of Christian transformation. Needless to say, each paragraph has been a bit of a mountain pass, and if I attempted to speed through it, I would fall into flippancy (I envy people who can speed through these things without such consequences).

2) "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. This book is, of course, part of my efforts to catch up on the "classics." As millions already know, "the Catcher in the Rye" is brilliant. I didn't like it at first - getting used to it was like learning to like dry wine. But now it's becoming a fascinating portrait of Holden Caufield. It's the kind of book I need to savor and think about, so it's slow going. Metro rides to work aren't cutting it.

3) "Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume VI." Nothing new to report here - this is mostly weekend reading.

4) "A Severe Mercy," by Sheldon Vanaunken. I'm moving into the sadder parts. Vanauken seems more real to me in his struggles than in his triumphs.

5) "Gemeinsam Leben" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This is "Life Together" in the original German. I still need that Saturday dedicated to reading it.

6) "Mit Liedern Beten" by Albert Frey.

7) "In the Presence of Fear" by Wendell Berry. I've heard of him, haven't read him. Challenging and thought-provoking economic ideas that deserve their own blog.

Pan's Labyrinth

"Men talked of their deaths and of pain, but they dared not speak of the promise of eternal life."

As the credits rolled, no one moved to the exits. The handful of us who had forgone March Madness basketball for an artsy film sat in the dark in a reverence that transcended mere thoughtfulness. "Pan's Labyrinth" is a beautiful film, not as a sunset is beautiful, but as a Van Gogh painting is beautiful, touching dark parts of the soul that want to be both left alone and expressed.

I know a lot of people who didn't like the film, and there was part of me that didn't want to (and part of me that really wanted to for completely shallow reasons). It's a fairly tale that is not for children, yet it's a child's perspective on the brutality of war. Like Alice and Lucy, the protagonist, a young girl named Ophelia, visits a mystical, fantasy land. But this land is much darker, often literally not just in but of earth, haunted by giant toads and fearsome, child eating trolls. As in Lucy's story, there's a fawn, but this fawn is not fuzzy or huggable. He looks made of the earth, wooden in parts, as if his knees should have leaves shooting out of them. His personality and mood seem to shift every time she sees him - giddy, condescending, spiteful, mirthful, fierce. He is repelling and inviting. He can't be grasped, controlled or predicted. He tells her she is the reincarnation of an underworld princess who must complete three tasks to return to her father. None of these tasks are particularly sanitized.

This fantasy world lurks behind a reality that is much more grim. She has moved to the country with her mother who is "sick with a baby" (as Ophelia sees it) and her brutal step-father. The step-father is a military captain charged with hounding out some resistance fighters in the residue of the Spanish Civil War. He's hot and cold - relish violence, torture and some sort of honorable death in war - and ranks among the best movie villains.

I can't describe the movie much more than that. Yet, there's a lot more I can say, but I want to blog while the film is more of an un-processed feeling. I have the same feeling now as I did after seeing 'the Godfather" for the first time. It's the feeling that this is a complete piece of cinema that needs nothing added to it. Like the Fawn in the film, it's something you can't completely hold or categorize; it's both repulsive and alluring, both damaging and healing. Part of me may long for a more obviously redemptive film, yet it offers the kind of hope that most of us see in this world - something distant, beautiful and dangerously beyond our own definitions and understandings. See the film, though heed the appropriate warning that it is as brutal as its villain, and they do not hide the violence of war or torture.

To taste the feeling of this film, go to the website at www.panslabyrinth.com and listen to the score. The tune is mysterious, playful, teasing, hopeful, full of fantasy, filled with dreams and incredibly sad. Much like the film itself.

Righteous Deception?

My pastors are going through a sermon series that is purposefully dis-comforting. They say it's supposed to be that way, being Lent and all. They are speaking on 4-deadly sins to which we Washingtonians (have I been here long enough to call myself that?) are particularly prone. Much of the focus has been on how deadly these sins are, and that has actually been good. They have been painful, but like a massage that digs deep below the surfaces of skin and muscle, they have been a kind of pain that brings healing. Repentance of sin leads to a sincere hope in God.

The first deadly sin was deception. When Dan preached on this, he used FBI Agent Robert Hanssen, who sold secrets to the Soviets more for the thrill of deceiving his peers than for the money. (You probably know that he is the subject of the excellent film, "Breach." Oscar nomination for Chris Cooper! Here, here!) Of course, he preached against more normal examples of deception, such as pretending to work while you're really sending personal emails or playing solitaire.

However, we might agree that not all cases deception are evil. In "Les Miserables," a nun whose defining trait was her sincerity, lied to Javert in order to protect Jean Valjean. She was not on the side of law, in contrast to Javert's pious lawfulness, but rather she showed Valjean mercy, somehow sensing he was a good man (I love the scene. Victor Hugo has a wonderful way of using more words than necessary to describe a single moment, and in umpteen paragraphs, we meet the nun at the point of her moral crisis. The build up is beautiful, and there is no way that we are not going to root for her to save Valjean's bacon).

A less morally ambiguous example: I think anyone who has taken Philosophy 101 has heard the Gestapo example. If you lived in Germany and 1942, and you were hiding your Jewish friends in your basement, it would be morally reprehensible not to try to deceive the Gestapo.

I now turn to the "Time" magazine from a couple weeks ago, which reported from the "front lines" of my country's abortion wars. Much of it centered on a particular Crisis Pregnancy Center (I learned that individual centers in this anti-abortion group are much more independent that I thought they were). It reported that some Crisis Pregnancy Centers engage in some fibbery of their own. The specific example was exaggerating the health risks of abortion based on data a couple decades old. When confronted about this, the woman indicated that transparency in this case was something they really had to think about.

This deception was the hot topic of discussion in the readers' letters a week later. Congressman Carolyn B. Maloney wrote that "while many CPCs are sincere, what I call 'counterfeit pregnancy centers' also exist... deceit and misinformation only serve to inflame both sides and emotionally damage pregnant women exploring their options. I have introduced legislation to crack down on the false advertising related to abortion services, and I hope it is something that can be supported by everyone, regardless of people's positions on abortion."

Maggie Nichols of Deltona, Florida counters, "a Planned Parenthood official (referring to the CPC fibs) quoted in your report stated, 'That's taking someones life and playing a really dangerous game with it.' Whose love does he believe is in danger? It is a significant injustice to pretend that there is only one life at stake in these cases. Pregnancy centers shouldn't misinform women--and neither should abortion providers."

I sympathize with the deception here. The justification seem to be, in order to save this child's life, misinformation is certainly necessary. Certainly scaring a woman out of abortion is a good tactic?

Yet something bugs me about that. At stake here is the moral high ground of the abortion debate, which has not only legislative significance, but significance in the hearts and minds of millions of young people enter the world of free thought. A month ago, I marched in the pro-life parade on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The majority of the marchers seemed to be Catholic youth groups. As I looked at all these children with hope, but not without sadness. I wondered what experience would bring them, how the world might deceive them. When the time came, what choices would they make. Marching is quite easy.

To truly be pro-life is to look after society's orphans and widows. To deceive the "widows" is not like deceiving the Gestapo. Life is at stake in both cases, but one must be embraced while the other must be thwarted.

I applaud the work of the Crisis Pregnancy Centers. The embrace the widows more than anyone else I'm aware of. They buy food and clothes and baby needs for those who cannot afford them. They give them counseling and comfort. They are the true evangelists in both an ancient and post-modern sense of the word I want them to not deceive, acknowledging that I am saying this as someone who is far from the realities at stake here. But there is a more powerful truth on their side. Technology has given them new, better ultrasounds. In the same Letter section, Kathie Thompson of Wilsonville, Oregon writes, "...since win has informed choice become a 'guerrilla' tactic? Abortion providers fear that a mother informed of her child's development will change her mind and decide not to abort. I hope your cover picture (of a woman's hand holding four model fetuses) is sufficiently intriguing to pregnant women that they will investigate, as much as possible, that precious life inside them. Ultrasound is not a 'stealth tactic.' It's a window into the womb that reveals undeniable life."

That is the opposite of deception.

Econ Exam

It's time. Friends, tomorrow I finally take the Economics exam for an online class I've been in since the summer. This in a way has been my penance for taking all the fun classes in my International Affairs major without taking the less interesting (from my perspective - I envy people who find finances interesting, because they will definitely make the most of what they got), but incredibly important classes. Long story short, almost any graduate program in International Relations of any kind requires more economics than I took in college. I can brag about my GPA and whip out my paper on the Cyprus Conflict, but I could not tell you at what point, in perfect competition, a firm that ceases to be profitable should shut down.

It's a bit like eating your vegetables. Not nearly as tasty as dessert or satisfying as red meat, but you know it will help you thrive. So much of the world is run on money, whether we like it or not, and those who understand these things have potential to do something good. That's why I'm excited that my friend Cam, who has a degree in Economics and a knack for business, has a vision for helping people in Africa in the areas of sustainable growth. He has an awesome chance of helping them on a real individual and practical level.

Meanwhile, I need to go to bed. I understand some basic points of economics now, and I pray that I can remember the necessary terms (understanding is only as good as your ability to explain and apply it). If you read this and think about it Monday evening, pray for me.

Good News for Fussball Fans

Well, for all you German soccer buffs, and I know you're out there, you'll be happy to know that the Bundesliga now offers their official website "auf Englisch." Check out http://www.bundesliga.de/ for details, where I learned, reading the original German, that SC Freiburg's winning streak came to an end. Sigh. When are they going to climb out of the second league?

Not to be outdone, ESPN Soccernet now offers their website "auf Deutsch." It's at http://www.espnsoccernet.de, and it promises to be "more than Michael Ballack."

International Women's Day

Here on the East coast of the USA, International Women's day just ended. Angela (www.hereisangela.com) points out that International Women's day has socialist origins, which is probably why I never heard of it until I moved to Europe. Ironically, a pastor I met who used to work in the former Eastern block told me that a friend of his relies on the holiday to keep his flower shop from going under. Ah, the cold realities of capitalism.

So to my mother, my sisters, Dani and all of you other ladies, happy Women's day! May you be blessed and free.

Book List

I am a very moody reader. I usually am reading five books at the same time, each of I'll read in fits and spurts. I'm not dogmatic about what books I read, but I am always trying to read at least one book that is spiritually edifying and one book that is more culturally edifying. My favorite books manage to be both (at the moment, my favorite book is "Les Miserables," which I consider to be a 1400 page Gospel presentation. 2nd and 3rd place go to the Russians, with "War and Peace," and "The Brothers Karamazov" close behind them. Three cheers for really long epics!). I also enjoy a book that is more like fast-food or candy - something that I can read quickly without much effort. Books like the "Harry Potter" series or "the Good German" have served this purpose. It's easy to surround myself with Christian inspiration without engaging the world. Amidst so many books that I find rather fluffy (though they encourage many better saints than I), there are some real gems, particularly if you are willing to go back in time. Many of these books are worth reading over and over. However, as a Christian I have a commitment to be in the world as well. That means engaging the art that does not appear to be Christian on the surface. For most people, this is not a problem, and it really shouldn't be a problem. I can find myself involuntarily over-identifying my life with certain characters and certain situation, which becomes rather neurotic (of course, this has been a negative with some Christian books as well). For example, I once heard Terri Gross interview Zadie Smith on NPR's show, "Fresh Air." Smith seemed like an incredibly interesting person. She seemed like someone I would want to have coffee with and learn things from. She was talking about her book, "On Beauty" which I bought and read this Fall. Smith didn't let me down. She is a brilliant writer, and her book was a page turner that made me think deeper about the culture wars, race, family, academics and marriage. However, the book is also incredibly sad and prone to some British-style cynicism, and in certain moods, I found it difficult to disengage myself from either of these emotions. I'm not proud of this, and I recommend the book to anyone who can enjoy art more responsibly. Moreover, I rarely completely flee a book, but I read it, like I read everything, in fits and starts, waiting for the mood to sink in to the point where I could find reality.

All this is in preface to a new feature in my blog, which I hope to update regularly, say... weekly. I want to present a booklist of what I am currently reading. I also want to list some of the kind of books I would like to be reading. My moody reading-style, combined with a busy schedule (full of work, friends, church, roommates and sleep), means that I don't get through books as quickly as I would like to.

So, at the moment I am reading:

1) "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Henri Nouwen. I was impressed by his insight as a minister in "the Wounded Healer," but this book has been one of those books that shows me myself and shows me God. I knew it would become a favorite when I started. I am almost finished.

2) "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. This book is, of course, part of my efforts to catch up on the "classics." As millions already know, "the Catcher in the Rye" is brilliant. I didn't like it at first - getting used to it was like learning to like dry wine. But now it's becoming a fascinating portrait of Holden Caufield. It's the kind of book I need to savor and think about, so it's slow going. Metro rides to work aren't cutting it.

3) "Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume VI." My dad did what every reformed pastor probably has done: bought the entire set of Charles Spurgeon's sermons. I am reading this as part of my weekend devotions, though I read it a lot more before I had a job. It's classic Baptist preaching, it's quite Calvinist, and they almost always point to the Gospel in a new and beautiful way. Of course, it is also a look into the age of Christian past. I warn you that his sermons were preached before the days of political correctness, which is refreshingly uncomfortable.

4) "A Severe Mercy," by Sheldon Vanaunken. Anyone familiar with this book knows a girl recommended it to me. The romanticism in the first chapter was so sticky sweet that it almost made me give up, but it's gotten really good, and there are some great quotes about Christianity, education and life. It's a memoir about his marriage and his faith, and it features his interactions and correspondence with CS Lewis (funny aside: Lewis's name is featured more prominently on the cover than poor Sheldon's). I love how it shows to highly-educated dreamers become Christians, and when he's not overly romantic about certain things, I relate to many parts of his story. It is, of course sad as well.

5) "Gemeinsam Leben" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This is "Life Together" in the original German. I am trying to read it, but being in German means I need to double my concentration (not easy for Mr. Short Attention Span over here). I intend to go to a cafe very soon and spend some focused time on this book. The Metro doesn't cut it here, either. However, his opening chapter about his vision for community and what can endanger community, even in its infancy, has made an impression.

6) "Mit Liedern Beten" by Albert Frey. This is "Praying with Songs," by my favorite worship leader. I wish I could share him with my American friends. He journeys more into the heart of what it means to lead others to worship through song, and I recommend it to anyone who leads worship (and speaks German).