Want to Work in Politics? Put on Your Uniform!

In Federalist 10, James Madison wrote, "the latent causes of faction are thus sewn into the nature of man," and he went on to argue for the creation of a Republic to render all factions "subservient to the public good." Living on the Capitol's back porch, I get to witness competing factions of all sorts.

What Madison could not have foreseen is the advent of 24-hour news, the Internet and social media to make politics so entertaining. Indeed, political theater has become like sporting events. With so much exposure, it may be difficult for the average fan to turn on C-span, CNN or YouTube to figure out who is who. I therefore propose a new regulations for our factions. Taking a cue from our friends in the sports world, I say that all political players should wear uniforms.

Most DC politicos wear drab, conservative suits. Under the new rules, Republicans (politicians and their staffers) would wear bright red suits and Democrats would wear bright blue suits (red and blue being the media's colors for the respective parties). The Green Party would, of course, wear green, and independents purple. Smaller parties would have to choose their own colors, (provided they choose ones who are not already taken) perhaps with the help of public relations agencies.

This would not stop with political parties, however. Special interests would have to wear their own uniforms. The pharmaceutical lobby, and for that matter any special interest group related to health care, would wear long, white doctor's coats and stethoscopes around their necks. Likewise, patients advocates would don hospital gowns. Lobbyists for the defense industry should dawn second-hand army uniforms and camouflage face paint. Auto industry workers should wear mechanics jump suits with the name of the car company they represent embroidered on the upper right-hand side. Tech lobbyists would dress like my friends in the tech community - trendy jeans, clever t-shirts and flip flops. The farm lobby, of course, would dress like the couple in the American Gothic.

You get the idea. Foreign diplomats would wear the traditional clothes of their native countries. Religious advocates would don the appropriate vestments. Peace advocates would dress like hippies (as some already do). All in all, these uniforms would enhance the entertainment value for the viewing public, as they watch the factions compete for their share of the public good.