Best Case/Worst Case -- Florida State II

My traditional best case/worst case post about my Alma Mater is a little late, mainly due to a labor dispute between writers and editors. But it is that time of the year where we can escape the realities of war, economic difficulties, professional productivity, civic obligations, family life, personal health, religious ritual and academic study to focus on one thing: college football. Thus, it's my honor and my duty to contribute. Just like last year (and with the appropriate apologies to the experts), I will examine the best case and worst case scenarios for the Florida State football team.

Best Case:

Unfortunately, the Seminoles have already passed up their opportunity to achieve best case. Yes, they trounced Louisiana-Monroe, their week 1 cream puff, 34-0, (hey, if you schedule Oklahoma, you can justify playing cream puffs. Not that that helped us last year...), but that was not best case. That was, at best, barely-meets-expectations case. Best case is when you commit no turnovers, have no need to punt, score a touchdown on every drive and not allow a single first down. The minimum score for a best case game is 98-0. So, for the remainder of the season, the best case scenario would be a series of 98-0 shellackings, with extra touchdowns scored on in-state rivals. By the time the ACC Championship comes around, the team is playing so divine that Florida State's players, coaches, professors, students and alumni all reach a light-producing higher plane, producing blessing, peace and justice the world over.

Worst Case:
The worst case scenario is quite the opposite. In this nightmarish dimension, the Florida State Seminoles, starting next week, fail to gain a single yard, much less first down, field goal, touchdown or safety. The defense allows the opposing running backs to pass through their tackles like Shadowcat, giving up 98 points per game plus extra touchdowns against in-state rivals. The horrendous performance on the field causes the team to literally implode into a black hole, engorging all matter and light into the spot in space where Doak Campbell Stadium once stood. Perhaps some of us might have escaped had we not cut the Space Shuttle program. As it is, the only ones who can flee the earth are the astronauts in the International Space Station, a billionaire Russian oligarch and three cocktail waitresses from the Russian's favorite St. Petersburg night club. Not that any could make it far, anyway....

Prediction: Somewhere in between. Happy football watching!